It's day 4, and I feel like it's day 1. I think my cravings have gotten worse today, even though the actual physical addiction should be past by now.
I can't focus on anything. I've been trying to work, and I just can't do it right now. My concentration is out the window. Literally. I want to go outside SO bad, but I don't have anything to smoke, so it would be a moot point at any rate.
I have a headache. My eyes won't focus on anything because of that. I'm looking at the tasks I need to do for work and they're staring me in the face. They all look Greek to me. I can't make sense of any of them. At least not just looking at them. I have to actually open them and really start reading through them. Then I get it and I can actually get some stuff done.
But in the meantime, I'm thinking of things way off in la-la land. So when I need to get away from my desk, I go outside and read my book. Just like I would have gone outside to smoke, I just sit in my car and read. It's a nice escape, but once I'm done with the Twilight books (for my second time - 3rd time for Eclipse and Breaking Dawn), I'm going to have to find something else to read so I don't get too tempted.
This blog entry was basically just a way for me to vent about going a little crazy trying not to smoke. I just needed an outlet. And, I'm done now.
Hang in there, you'll get there soon enough.
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