I was really hoping my first entry would not be about me. I think it's going to end up that way anyhow.
I just have a lot on my mind at the moment and I need to vent. Anyone that actually wants to read this, be my guest. lol. But personally, I don't think it will be of any interest to anyone but myself. I didn't want this blog to be about anything personal, but as this is my first entry, I figure it's fair for me to talk a bit about myself. Maybe let people get to know me a little.
There has been a lot going on in the world lately. To be honest, I couldn't tell you what any of it was. My life has been so hectic lately, I have found it difficult to think about anything outside of my home, my job, and my family.
I got a new position at work. It's been intriguing, but at the moment, there's not a lot for me to do. I've been working diligently on whatever I can, but after a while, I end up recycling my tasks and doing them again to make sure the first time they worked it wasn't just a fluke.
I guess I should explain a bit about what I do for a living. I used to be working in the technical support department of an engineering company. Taking phone calls from our clients and working through the issues or logging bugs. Recently, I have been moved to the system test team. Now I do testing on all of our bug fixes. Unfortunately, we have a roll out going out tomorrow, so any testing that needed to be done is already done, and nothing else is ready to be tested at the moment. So "here I lie with words to swear, there's something more than the world out there".
I fear I have become what I most dreaded. A "homebody". We rarely go out. The last time my husband and I did anything as just the two of us was our honeymoon. We've now been married just over 2 months. We have our 8 year old son with us at all times, so we really can't get any one-on-one time. I'd love to go out to a party; to karaoke; to a bar; dancing; etc. The truth of the matter is that we just can't afford the time away from home. It's not cheap to go out on the town. We make enough, but with paying what we do for rent, not to mention all of our bills, there's just not a lot left.
We've been talking about going out on date nights again. I really hope we can do it soon. I miss it. All we do now is rent movies and stay at home. Don't get me wrong, the time with my husband is great. I just wish we could get out every once in a while too.
And then of course, last but certainly not least, is the matter of friends. I don't know if it's that I got into a relationship and got married, or what it is. But it seems that most of my old friends have all but disappeared. This has happened before and it's really frustrating. I love having friends. I love doing things with my friends. Lately, it's been almost like pulling teeth just to get anyone to hang out at any point. Not everyone has been like this, mind you. And to those few, I really appreciate it. You know who you are (mostly because you know you have hung out with me recently... lol) I had a Lia Sophia party this last weekend. Only 6 out of the 50 people I invited actually showed up. My sister was one and she was conducting the party. Then there was my mom. Thank you to Laura, Mom, Chrissa, Stacey, Val, and Ashley for coming that night. I really appreciate it. There were several things that frustrated me about that party, but I don't think this is the proper place to vent. Let's just say that I feel like I'm expendable. If anything else comes up last minute, so long! Just my feelings. And the fact that this isn't the first time this has happened is what upsets me the most. I'd say maybe I'd do that to those that have done it to me just so they know how I feel when it happens, but number one, I like to think I'm a better person than that, and number two, I don't get invited out and about very often anyway.
*Phew* Now that THAT rant is over. I think that's all I need to get off my chest. I'm just frustrated with a few things and I feel like I'm losing a part of myself because of things that have happened lately.
At any rate. If anyone has actually read this all the way through, thank you. And I promise, my next entry won't all be about me. ^_~
YAY! I hope this helps!
ReplyDeletedanni, i hate to tell you this, but ... welcome to the married life. :)
ReplyDeleteokay, in all seriousness, i had a friend who was THE LIFE of every party we had. always up, didn't matter the hour ... not sure if she ever slept. she got married in 1998. shortly thereafter, she and i were chatting on some program. i asked her how things were going. the first thing she said was that married life COMPLETELY changed her. she has to be in bed by 9:30; she wasn't capable of staying up past 10. she and her husband were stay-at-homes too. yah, they had their married friends, but some had kids, which required everyone either being home by 7, or out the door by 6:30 so the friends with kids could put the kids to bed. eventually, it just turned into the staying at home thing.
so, really ... you're right on track! :) it's not abnormal to feel the way you do. OH! that was the other thing ... she (my friend) was seriously worried about how early she was going to bed, and not being able to do things with people. and, sadly, her single friends couldn't really do much with her and her husband because of ... whatever. busy with school, work, feeling like a 3rd, 5th or 7th wheel ... you can see what i mean.
so don't sweat it. you are right in line with many the newly-wed couple. :)